Peringatan Untuk Diri Sendiri: Bagaimana Mahu Gumbirakan Isteri!

Salam pada semua sang suami serta bakal-bakal suami (ya termasuk Naim) - let's go down this list and periksa diri.

1. Bila saja anda pulang ke rumah, carilah dia dahulu sebelum anda lakukan perkara lain dan peluklah dia.
2. Tanya kepadanya soalan-soalan yang tertentu menunjukkan anda sedar apakah yang dia rancang untuk lakukan hari ini.
3. Latihlah diri anda untuk mendengar serta bertanya soalan kepadanya
4. Bentengi diri anda untuk menyelesaikan masalahnya, tapi tunjukkan sifat memahami anda.
5. Berikan padanya perhatian yang sebenar tanpa menunggu dia memintanya selama setengah jam setiap hari.
6. Bawakan kepadanya hadiah yang mengejutkannya pada bila-bila masa lebih-lebih lagi pada tarikh atau perayaan yang bermakna.
7. Rancanglah masa untuk bersamanya beberapa hari sebelum itu,jangan menunggu hingga malam Jumaat kemudian bertanya pula apakah yang hendak buat.
8. Jika pada suatu malam, dia merasa letih atau terlalu sibuk untuk memasak, tawarkan diri anda untuk memasak pula.
9. Selalulah memujinya dari segi kecantikan dan keanggunan rupa parasnya.
10. Akui perasaannya bila dia merasa marah.
11. Tawarkan bantuan kepadanya bila dia merasa letih dan penat.
12. Jadualkan mana-mana perjalanan lebih awal agar dia tidak kelam kabut membuat persediaan.
13. Sekiranya anda terlewat, jangan lupa untuk menelefon dia dan beritahu dia tentang hal itu.
14. Bila dia mahukan sokongan anda dengan bertanya mengenai sesuatu perkara, katakan ya atau tidak. Jangan jadikan dirinya rasa bersalah kerana bertanya.
15. Semasa perasaannya tersinggung, berikan padanya rasa simpati anda dan nyatakan kepadanya ‘Saya kasihan awak tersinggung’. Kemudian diamlah, biarkan dia dapat merasakan bahawa anda memahami yang dia tersinggung.
16. Jangan cuba jelaskan pula kenapa rasa tersinggungnya itu bukan salah anda.
17. Bila anda perlukan masa untuk bersendirian akibat gusar,katakan padanya anda akan pulang dan anda perlukan sedikit masa untuk berfikir mengenai sesuatu.
18. Sekiranya perasaan anda telah reda dan anda pulang ke rumah,bercakaplah dengannya apakah dia yang menggusarkan anda dengan cara yang hormat dan tidak menyalahkan dia. Dia perlu tahu agar dia tidak menyangka yang bukan-bukan.
19. Bila cuaca sejuk, eloklah rapatkan diri anda kepadanya dan biarkan kehangatan tubuh anda dapat menghangatkan jiwanya.
20. Pada masa dia mahu berbincang dengan anda, letakkan buku,majalah atau akhbar yang sedang anda baca, dan tutup TV. Berikan perhatian sepenuhnya.
21. Sekiranya selalunya dia yang membasuh pinggan, sesekali bantu dia untuk membasuh pinggan pula, terutamanya jika dia letih.Bantulah dia menggosok bekas yang sukar atau kerja membasuh yang sukar.
22. Pastikan bila dia letih atau marah, tanya dia apa yang dia hendak buat dan tawarkan bantuan anda dengan melakukan beberapa kerja yang akan dilakukannya.
23. Bila anda hendak keluar rumah, tanya dia adakah barang yang patut dibeli, dan jangan lupa pula membelinya.
24. Beritahu padanya bila anda mahu tidur atau mahu keluar.
25. Berikan dia lima kali pelukan setiap hari. Satu waktu subuh, satu zohor, asar, maghrib dan isya’. Jika tidak berkesempatan,himpunkan dua atau tiga pelukan pada waktu yang terluang.
26. Telefon dia semasa anda bekerja dan bertanya khabar atau kongsikan sesuatu yang menarik, atau hanya katakan ‘Aku cinta padamu’.
27. Katakan ‘Aku cinta padamu’ sekurang-kurangnya sekali sehari.
28. Bantu dia untuk mengemaskan katil dan membersihkan bilik tidur.
29. Letakkan pakaian yang sudah patut di basuh ke bakul yang dikhaskan.
30. Selalulah periksa sama ada tong sampah sudah penuh dan tolong buang sampah. Kemudian tolong letakkan plastik sampah dalam tong tu.
31. Bila anda hendak berjalan jauh, telefon dia, biar dia tahu anda selamat sampai dan berikan nombor telefon tempat itu.
32. Basuhkan kereta yang dipakainya.
33. Bersihkan diri anda dan pakai wangi-wangian sebelum jima’ jika itu yang dia suka.
34. Bila dia merasa marah kepada seseorang, eloklah anda menyebelahi isteri anda. Kalau anda tidak bersetuju dengan caranya, itu boleh diselesaikan kemudian.
35. Selalulah tawarkan diri anda untuk mengurut belakang,tengkuk dan kakinya.
36. Jadikan tabiat merangkulnya dan mengasihinya yang bukan bertujuan untuk jima’.
37. Sabarlah bila dia mahu berkongsi pendapat dengan anda. Jangan mengalihkan pandangan anda pada benda lain, atau melihat jam.
38. Tunjukkan kasih sayang anda ketika bersamanya walau di khalayak ramai.
39. Bila anda memegang tangannya, jangan pula jadikan tangan anda kaku dan lumpuh.
40. Ambil tahu apakah makanan atau minuman yang dia suka agar anda boleh suruh dia memilih apa yang dia memang gemar.
41. Sarankan beberapa restoran yang baik, jangan bebankan padanya untuk menentukan di mana hendak makan.
42. Luangkan masa anda untuk pergi bersamanya ke tempat yang dia suka pergi, selama mana tempat itu adalah tempat yang baik atau diharuskan.
43. Wujudkan masa bila mana anda boleh memakai pakaian bersama-sama.
44. Cuba memahami bila dia lewat atau tiba-tiba mahu menukar pakaiannya.
45. Berikan perhatian yang lebih kepadanya daripada orang lain ketika anda berada di khalayak ramai.
46. Jadikan dia lebih penting dari anak-anak anda. Biarkan anak-anak anda menyaksikan bahawa isteri mendapat perhatian anda yang lebih utama dan lebih awal sebagai contoh kepada mereka.
47. Belikan dia hadiah-hadiah kecil dan comel.
48. Belikan untuknya pakaian. Pastikan anda tahu saiz tubuhnya serta warna, fesyen dan corak yang lebih digemarinya. Atau anda boleh belikan kain untuk dijahit kemudiannya.
49. Ambillah gambarnya pada waktu-waktu keramaian atau di tempat-tempat yang mahu dijadikan kenangan.
50. Luangkan masa bersendirian dengannya untuk melakukan sesuatu yang romantik.
51. Biar dia tahu bahawa anda bawa gambarya dalam dompet anda dan menggantikan ia dengan gambar terbaru bila sudah sampai masanya.
52. Biarlah anda yang memandu ketika berjalan jauh. Pandulah dengan selamat, tidak terlalu laju hingga mengecutkan hatinya dan tidak pula terlalu perlahan sedangkan anda boleh laju.
53. Perhatikan bagaimanakah perasaannya dan berikan komen yang menunjukkan anda ambil berat seperti ‘Awak nampaknya gembira hari ini’ atau ‘Awak nampak letih’ dan kalau boleh tanya sebabnya agar anda tahu apa yang mengembirakannya dan sebaliknya.
54. Bila anda keluar bersamanya, anda sendiri perlulah tahu arah tujuan anda agar dia tidak terasa tertekan memandu arah kepada anda.
55. Solat bersama dan berdoa bersama.
56. Kejutkan dia dengan puisi atau nota cinta.
57. Layanilah dia sebagaimana anda melayani semasa awal-awal dahulu.
58. Tawarkan diri untuk membaiki sesuatu di rumah. nyatakan anda ada masa untuk itu. Tapi jangan pula tawarkan diri melakukan perkara yang tidak mampu anda lakukan dengan baik. Tolong asah pisau. Gunakan gam yang baik untuk melekatkan sesuatu yang telah pecah. Tolong gantikan lampu yang telah terbakar.
59. Bacakan dengan kuat sesuatu ruangan akhbar yang menarik minatnya.
60. Tuliskan dengan kemas apa-apa pesanan untuknya yang anda terima melalui telefon.
61. Pastikan bilik mandi bersih dan kering bila anda sudah mandi.
62. Bukakan pintu untuknya. Tawarkan diri untuk membawa barangan yang dibawanya. Tawarkan untuk bawakan barangan yang berat. Jika hendak berjalan, letak dan barangan yang hendak dibawa di kereta.
63. Bila dia memasak, pujilah masakannya.
64. Sewaktu anda mendengar dia berkata, pandanglah ke matanya. Tunjukkan bahawa anda berminat dengan menyatakan ‘Betul kata awak’. Di masa yang sesuai, pegang dia dengan tangan anda bila anda berkata kepadanya.
65. Tunjukkan minat anda pada apa yang dia buat hari ini, pada buku yang dia baca, dan pada orang lain yang dia hubungi.
66. Bersedialah untuk masuk tidur bersama dan masuklah ke kamar seiring dengannya.
67. Berikan dia ciuman dan berikan salam atau kata selamat tinggal bila anda mahu keluar rumah. 68. Ketawalah pada jenaka dan senda guraunya.
69. Katakan terima kasih bila dia buat sesuatu untuk anda. 70. Rancanglah untuk makan angin bersamanya.
71. Berbincanglah dengan cara yang menunjukkan kepadanya bahawa anda mahu dia dapat apa yang dia kehendaki dan anda juga mahu apa yang anda kehendaki. Ambil berat, tapi jangan berat sebelah.
72. Bila anda berjauhan darinya, beritahu padanya bahawa anda rindu padanya.
73. Belikan untuknya makanan yang dia gemari.
74. Minta pandangannya tentang sesuatu dan hargai pandangannya.
75. Ramai lelaki menganggap yang penting bila bersama wanita ialah melakukan perkara-perkara besar saja tetapi sebenarnya yang akan memenangi hati wanita ialah bila lelaki melakukan hal-hal kecil untuk membantunya dan menunjukkan anda ambil berat padanya. Dengan cara ini wanita akan merasa dirinya dicintai. Bila dia merasa dicintai, dia akan cinta pada anda tanpa berdolak-dalik.
76. Anda juga akan dapati bahawa melakukan kerja-kerja kecil untuk wanita akan mengubati hati anda. Bila dia gembira anda akan turut gembira. Anda akan merasa lebih berguna dan berjasa kerana isteri anda telah memperolehi perhatian yang dia perlukan.

Remembering Azmir!

Today is 20th March. And while driving back to the office after Friday prayer, I remembered that if my brother Azmir is still alive, he would be 37 years old today. I believe I've never talk or write about him ever here. Well, he (Mior Azmir) was my youngest brother and passed away at the age of 26.

When he passed on 11 years ago we still regard him as our baby brother. You see, Azmir never did grow up. Azmir was a special kid. A high fever when he was two impeded his development. From there on, Azmir changed our life. Except for going to the school, my mother stopped going out as she spent her time solely to care for my brother.

Azmir had a real temper and when he was having his 'outburst', he would, for some reasons, take it out on Mak or Wan Je - his beloved ...er.. nanny. And we the brothers and Bapak would have to restrain him. That happened quite a lot. As he grew older he became even more violent and often he would only stop after he managed to break one of the glass window panes. I remembered Bapak having to buy and replace the broken window quite so often then.

To make matters worse, he also suffered from fits of epilepsy, which unfortunately happened quite regularly too. Naturally, all through his life, he had to rely on medication. And to make him take his medicine was also a huge task.

Despite all these, we have had some pretty hillarious memory of Azmir. He loved to sing (out of tune, of course) and eat, obviously. I think, in his own way, he also adored all his nieces and nephews.

And when he was in his good mood, he would cuddled up with us watching television. That was priceless. Al Fatihah, Mir. We miss you... a lot!!!!!

Us.. All of Us

Somehow it's very difficult to get all of us in a picture ... until recently... that's us with Mak's cousin..

How to attend a luncheon meeting on a Sunday and then did not turn up at a wedding later (and still menjadi sahabat setia!!!)?

I do have a serious problem. Unless its a meeting that involves my bosses, I tend not to be punctual. I used to be very particular about time but somehow, I've been slacking. I need to do something about this.

Like this afternoon, I was late again. I was supposed to attend a luncheon meeting with the rest of the Anak-Anak TTOT committee at the UiTM Hotel in Shah Alam.

Urm okay, the truth is, I planned to be late for this. I thought I was being clever that by coming in late, I'll skip the meeting and just go straight to the lunch portion. But although I was like one and half hour late (of course, the ever reliable Kak Mah texted me asking me where was I), the meeting was very much in session when Yan and I waltzed in. Hmm.

Anyway, it was a post mortem kind of meeting on the recent family gathering. There will be more events coming up for Anak-Anak TTOT. I guess, to all Anak-Anak TTOT, we'll keep you posted through this space and Facebook.

Okay, that's all for now .... .need to be punctual for something now!!!

And Dear Leen,
My apology again... betul-betul tak sempat nak datang your sister punya wedding just now... sampai rumah jer terus hujan lebat giler (this is the best excuse yang I can think of now lar.. nanti I revise lah). Kami sekeluarga akan terus menjalin tali persahabatan selama-lamanya dengan you. Hahaaaaaa!!
From: Your Sahabat Sejati.

Ayah Chu, Mak Nah, Kak Shima and Kak EllaKak Mah, Norlia and Yan.

Kak Yayah with Wan Jah and lain-lain.

Abang Man and Abang Lit catching up with each other

Sessi Bertukar Resipi .. Mak Engku Lina, Yan with Kak Odi and Nyah Intan.

Hisham with Linda and Bahrin

Us... hehehehe

Attention all... we have been Yang-ed!

I feel Bad! At my age and especially during this trying time (what with the economic downturn and political instability), I should be Working Day And Night.

But thanks to my oh so awesome niece, we have been yanged. Now I’m spending (urm okay.. wasting is more like it) most of my Internet time watching Michael Jackson on YouTube. Yes, its Michael Jackson fever in Mior Azhar’s household nowadays where the daughters and I are practically Get On the Floor and Off The Wall… moonwalking away.

It’s like a trip back down to my Childhood days when I used to watch MJ and the Jackson 5 on my Bapak’s Black and White TV grooving away.

Another Part of Me is telling me that I should act my age and just Beat It. But I Can’t Help It. Thriller and Billie Jean are simply too Dangerously infectious. This Time Around even Yan is Speechless. Yes, why bother Scream, because she knows very well that its Human Nature to celebrate the Man In the Mirror who over the years, in his own way, has helped to Heal The World.

PS:
To Safia (my niece), see I've turned your name into a noun. Say thanks!
To Safia (yan's niece), congrats... wa wa wa 11A1s. That's freaking awesome.

Presenting Zara!!!

Somehow, for some reasons, I have yet to post her picture here. Our third "cucu", Zara Yasmin, is now more than 5 months.And what a beautiful angel she is. Kind of reminded me of our three girls when they were small, hehehe. We dropped in to see her yesterday and came away with this pix. Presenting Zara....

Zara Yasmin Azham

Zara with her Wan Yan and Tok Uncle

And this is definitely my favourite pix of Zara. Isnt' she simply delightful?

Zara and her mama Faizah

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meanwhile, the other two cucus have also grown up... here's

Aidil .... who is turning into a handsome young man... and
Dania yang masih , erm, dot dot dot

Tag No 6.

I've been tagged. This time by a very dramatic mom up north. I think this is a bit tedious lah, Yah. But a promise is a promise... so here goes:

GO to your photos folder in your computer
-GO to the 6th Folder of your photos
-GO to the 6th photos in that folder
-Put the picture on your blog & description of it.
-Invite 6 friends to join the challenge
-Link them in your blog & let them know they have been challenged.


And the lucky photo is this.... hahaha:

This photo is found under folder named "Gathering". This is Ishak Hasan and me. Ishak is one of my best buddies from UM days. He can be sentimentally dramatic. But that's just Ishak being Ishak. This photo was taken in August last year. Location: HUKM, Cheras (he was there with family as his eldest son - with kidney complications - had to undergo some routine check-up). We have not met for almost 20 years. The last time we saw each other was when he came to my house in Puchong in 1990, I think. He was on his way to Kuching for his akad nikah then. The next morning I drove him to Subang Airport where he boarded the first flight out to Kuching. We called each other a few times after that but that was it. He moved to Kuching to be with his new bride. And during those pre-cellphone, pre-Internet and pre-Air Asia days, Kuching was quite a faraway destination. We lost contact until apparently he googled my name early last year and stumbled upon this blog.

Today, he has moved back to Perlis, his hometown while his wife Dr Rabiah Abdul Ghani (tengok Ak, aku ingat lagi nama bini hang in full) is at UUM. With four beautiful kids, he is still teaching but finds life back in kampung very blissful. Good for you, my friend! And I'm mighty glad that we are able to meet again.

Okay now, I'm supposed to tag 6 other people. I think, I'll just tag all my nephews and nieces yang ada blog. And yes, my three daughters too.

A tree knelt in praise

A tree knelt in praise

I know that I shall never see
A poem that bows quite like our tree
A tree who like us loved to pray
In adoration every day

A tree who humbly knelt in praise
To God and never chose to raise
Itself above the other trees
Instead remained as if on knees

A tree whose worth cannot be told
Or ever lent or bought with gold
A tree who showed us all its height
With God by bowing with delight

It taught us all to clearly see
A Garden lies beneath a tree
And then it showed us with a sigh
That trees, like us, must also die

In an age of folly, play and mirth
A tree has died with brow on earth

- Hamza Yusuf / March 2005

The thing about gatherings....

TTOT Family 2009

Today, the wife and I attended a Ikatan Anak Rantau Perak gathering in Shah Alam. Well, apart from listening to the latest development that're taking place in our kampung halaman, we were there to meet my wife's cousin and show our support during this trying times. We have not met him as yet. Unfortunately, he could not make it as his MIL passed away the evening before. Takziah and Al-Fatihah.

Anyway, the gathering went well, I think. A few VVIPS were in attendance to update us on the latest development back home. And it's good to see so many anak-anak Perak coming together like that. Unfortunately, we did not take any photo at the event.

Speaking of gathering, here are some of the pictures taken during the TTOT family gathering that we attended a week ago.

The grand backdrop.. didn't realise that they are going to do it this huge

View of the dewan from the top

Ayah Lah, being the eldest member of the family that day, was given the honour to officiate the ceremony. Looking on are Ayah Midi, and the co-chairman of the gathering Mak Nah and Ayah Chu

Mak meeting her cousins (from left Wan Kiah, Mak Tam, Mak and Mak Nah) in the VVIP waiting room.

At the green registration desk... Arissa and Asma helping out Yan and Melah ....

... While Safia helps me out at the media desk (which we share with the Yellow registration desk -- see Kak Chor and Abang Hisham checking their team in)

One of the highlights of the day...the slide presentation on Tok Talib and Opah Tekah family history.. presented by my brother Chor and assisted by Safia.

And of course, the two of us Chor's family (minus Adam yang pergi mana tah dgn Azam) and my family (minus me yang amik this pix)

The event's committe members

Good company and of course good food ... that day. Memang sedap the food and then there's three huge trays of nasi kambing mendi yang amat amat delicious.

Sisters Asma and AliaBefore the event, we had tahlil prayers, led by these three fine gentlemen. They look mighty familiar to me. Laaa, mat In Team rupanya.

Tok Talib and Opah Tekah had 5 kids. In order to differentiate the many family members that day, all were required to wear specific colours representing their family (except of course me and my family... as I wasn't paying attention as usual and thus we were among the few who came devoid of the right colour - much to the chagrin of my family hehehe)

Red - Anak- cucu Opah Ami (Daughter number 3) and Tok Jabbar

Yellow - Anak-cucu Opah Chu Tun (youngest daughter) and Tok Tasi

Purple - anak-cucu Tok Hashim (second son) and Opah Meriam
Blue - Anak cucu Tok Man (son no 4) and Opah Nik

Green - anak cucu Opah Sapiah (yang sulong) and Tok Yusof. And we belong here.

Pictures are basically mine and except a few which are stolen from Nadia Che Safri, Normi Suffian and Nazlinda Abdullah's Facebook.